I remember waiting impatiently to leave my teen years behind and to finally be considered an adult. Turning twenty-one was awesome, twenty-five was even better. I had some issues turning thirty, but had no problems with turning forty. However, I must admit that becoming forty-five has given me the opportunity to do some serious reflection!
I guess it's that I'm beginning to recognize my own mortality. Even though my children are younger than my peers', it's finally hit me that I'm ~ I can't believe I'm actually going to admit this ~ middle-aged. My "youth" is behind me now, those golden years are looming ahead.
In some ways, I'm glad. I'm well past those years of worrying about being asked out or fitting in with the crowd. I'm confident/content with who I am, what I do, what I think, and I'm no longer afraid to express myself!
However, I must admit that I'm a bit jealous of those beautiful teenage girls that I had the privilege to teach this past school year. They have their entire lives before them, like a beautiful package that's ready to unwrap. Everything is fresh, ready to claim, and shiny-new.
If I had the opportunity to re-live my life, I would only change a few things: I'd like to possess the knowledge I have now. That timid, reserved girl would have been more confident and carefree than she was. I would spend less time worrying about what other people thought and trying to please/outdo certain people that tried their best to belittle and put me down because of their petty jealousies. I would instead focus on strengthening myself to become the woman God wanted me to be ~ not try to fit into others' expectations.
I enjoy my life with my husband, children, family and friends. I've made peace with some issues I've carried ~ am thankful for the nurturing, affectionate relationship I have with the hubs ~ the close interaction I have with my kiddos ~ the opportunity to spend time with my mother as an equal ~ and the very special women I surround myself with.
I was thinking that since I've lived exactly 45 years, that is 540 months. If you continue to break it down further, that translates to 16,425 days. Even further is 394,200 hours. Further still is 23,652,000 minutes, and, finally, 1,419,120,000 seconds ~ give or take a few ~
I really haven't had a tragic life like so many others. I've been blessed immensely! But by being so blessed, I can forget to be thankful.
I'm reminded that because of Jesus, we are given an abundant life, and as Christians, we should live that life to the fullest! With that being said, I ask myself ~ how will I use the moments I have left to affect the lives of others ~ especially my husband and children?
This old song sums it up well, I think.
Only One Life
It matters so little how much you may own.
The places you've been or the people you've known.
For it all comes to nothing when placed at His feet,
It's nothing to Jesus,
Just memories to keep.
You may take all the treasures from far away lands,
Take all the riches you can hold in your hands.
And take all the pleasures your money can buy,
But what will you have when it's your time to die?
Only one life, so soon it will pass.
Only what's done for Christ will last.
Only one chance to do His will.
So give to Jesus all your days,
It's the only life that pays
When you recall, you've had but one life.
I'm going to challenge myself to make year number 45 to mark the beginning of the best years to come! It's time for me to live that abundant, wonderful life that God want me to have ~ to the fullest!
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